Only in America can you sue a fast-food joint because the food is hot and you burned your mouth.

If it wasn't that hot, you'd be suing them for salmonella.

You know, when you're at home, and you cook something, don't you have to wait a couple minutes or else you'll burn yourself?

Suing over scalding hot coffee.  Same thing about when you're at home.  What do you do, sue the coffee company?  Sue the company that makes the coffee maker?  Sue yourself?

Then there was the person who sued over the portion size in some meal kit, mac and cheese or something.  It said it makes this much, and it didn't.  I need millions of dollars for my pain and suffering over this outrageous disappointment.

So I'm thinking, it's decades overdue to sue the makers of chocolate bars and potato chips, because the prices keep going up and the size of the portion gets smaller.  I need millions of dollars to help me come to terms with the fact that 50 cents won't buy me a big, satisfying chocolate bar anymore, or that it takes 2 or 3 bags of chips to feel like I ate chips.

What's next?  Suing people over their opinions?  We have a thing called freedom of speech, you know.  If they're not defaming you or threatening you, they can say pretty much what they want and you have to roll with it.

 

Wait, maybe we could sue TV stations for changing their programming.  You know, on Tuesday night, certain shows are supposed to be on, and you've ruined my life and caused dire pain and suffering by changing what shows are on.  Or is that a suit against the TV shows themselves?  Their seasons end, you know.

Last one - somebody suing a big oil company because - get this - they were a victim of a robbery at a gas station and convenience store bearing that company name.  If I have to explain to you what's fucked up about that, you're too stupid to be here.